Shawn Totally Like-Liked Them…

Since Paxton decided to open up his 80s era diary and share his top six mega crushes with the club, I felt an obligation to do the same.  So I unlocked my hope chest, rifled through the clippings and found my top six movie crushes from when I was growing up in the 80s.  Not only did I like these ladies, I totally like-liked them.  When I was a kid I started having crushes around age 3 or so.  Not sure if this is early for a boy, but I do know that I had a “girlfriend” by age 4 (Robin – she dumped me by the by), and was madly in love at 5 with a girl, Heather, down the street when we lived in Tampa.

First of all, you’ll notice the absence of girls like Punky Brewster, Drew Barrymore, and Vicki the Small Wonder robot because even as a boy I was into older women (TMI, I know.)  Also, I actually compiled this list last year for my other project (Branded in the 80s), and I decided to ditch all of the TV, cartoon, and animatronic mice in lieu of just the wonderful ladies who lit up the silver screen (and my heart.)  Now on to the list which I’ll open with an honest set of honorable mentions (i.e. my man-crushes…)

Clayton Rohner, Matt Adler and the ever-dreamy John Cusack

I’m pretty comfortable with my sexuality, enough so to admit that I had crushes on all three of the above mentioned gentlemen, Matt Adler in particular.  If you’re unfamiliar with these gentlemen, John Cusack brought to screen the holy trinity of Lloyd Dobler, Lane Meyer, and Hoops McCann, while Matt Adler made a career out of playing that other cute guy in Teen Wolf, White Water Summer, and his main starring turn in North Shore, and finally Clayton Rohner will always be Rick Morehouse in Just One of the Guys to me.

As for the Ladies, lets start with…

#6 – Lea Thompson

Lea Thompson didn’t jump out at me at first, but as I was looking through my DVDs to compile this list I couldn’t help but notice that she starred in a number of my favorite films.  The more I thought about it the more I realized that I had most certainly had a crush on her growing up.  She was my favorite junior-naut in SpaceCamp, was one of the only ones to make it out of Red Dawn alive, and was quite the flirtatious bad-girl in Back to the Future.  Did I mention she was the awesome lead of the Cherry Bombs in Howard the Duck?  If I can love a mouse and she can love a duck, well, there has to be something there…

#5 – Diane “Monique” Franklin

I’m mainly familiar with Franklin from her turn as Monique in Better Off Dead.  Cute as a button and a tomboy to boot.  She can throw a lemon like no other, and you have to give her props for lasting as long as she did under the same roof as Rickey…

#4 – Joyce “Terry Griffith” Hyser

Again, my familiarity with Hyser is mainly from the seminal teen gender-bending romance flick Just One of The Guys.  I’m not sure this was intentional on the part of the filmmakers or not, but I found Joyce Hyser way more attractive as Terrance then Terry.  I guess I dug the short hair and bravado, but she was my deam-girl for a couple years in middle school.  The final confrontation scene in the flick didn’t hurt either…

#3 – Jane Badler and Faye Grant

(I’m totally cheating by doubling up these two I know…)

Jane Balder’s Diana ate a guinea pig in V.  I still had a crush on her.  Grant’s Julie Parrish was also a big crush of mine, I’ll admit for her weirdly sexy white get-up in the torture scenes.  If I ever speak to a therapist, I’m positive that scene will come into the conversation.  I’m also noticing a trend of girls with guns here.  Hmmm….

#2 – Susan “Boof” Ursitti

Teen Wolf is a film that I love, but is rife with huge problems, not the least of which is the insanity that Scott would rebuff Boof.  Seriously.  Who in their right mind would ignore Boof?

#1 – Michelle “Jordan” Meyrink

Hands down, Michelle Meyrink is the ultimate 80s nerd girl (starring in Real Genius and Revenge of the Nerds.)  Jordan is someone who would drive me insane, what with the non-sleep and six million projects all running at once, but still, she was awesome in my book.  She’s also one of those actresses that I thought should have been in more flick.  Thanks to out faithful co-host Jamie for reminding me of the flick Nice Girls Don’t Explode for a starring turn by Meyrink.

Well, that’s the list, what about you guys and gals, any crushes you’re afraid to admit to from back in the day?

  • Dex

    I haven’t seen either of Meyrink’s nerd movies in quite some time and probably no more than twice. When I watched Nice Girls last year I was all Who is this girl?! She sorts reminds me of Melanie Lynskey, the crazy neighbor Rose from Two & a Half Men.

    • Shawn Robare

      I’ll be honest I could watch Real Genius every day of the week and never get tired of it. I suppose I have a bit of a crush on mid 80s era Val Kilmer too, I can totally see the Two and a Half Men connection, quiet, weird, and cute…

    • ShezCrafti

      I love Melanie Lynskey! You’re right, Meyrink resembles her.

  • Paxton Holley

    I won’t lie, I saw Jordan coming. She was cute and I keep forgetting that’s her in Revenge of the Nerds as well.

    Great call on Boof and Leah Thompson. Boof has a small part in one of my favorite movies, Zapped! Leah Thompson was hot in everything. BTTF, Howard the Duck, Wild Life, etc.

    Joyce Hyser is hit or miss for me. I liked her better as Terry. But she was also pretty hot in The Flash TV series in the 90s. She had a recurring role later in the series.

    Diane Franklin. You blew my mind with that one, Shawn. Great pick.

    I didn’t list guys in my article and you did. I feel like I should reciprocate. So, here’s my list of guy crushes in the 80s-90s:

    1) Michael J Fox
    2) Emilio Estevez
    3) Val Kilmer

    • Shawn Robare

      Yeah, Jordan is like the nerd dream girl. Lea Thompson is one of those ladies that for some reason is easy to forget but then, bam, you remember she was like in everything in the 80s.

      I can’t wait to finally catch Zapped. Been meaning to see it for ever…

      • ShezCrafti

        Me too! Never seen it, but Pax has made it sound so amazing.

        • Paxton Holley

          Oh man, hopefully I haven’t talked it up too much. ;-P

          • ShezCrafti

            After Ninja III, I trust your taste in movies implicitly.

  • Geek Chunks

    Excellent list! Wow, I totally didn’t realize that was Michelle Meyrink in Revenge of the Nerds. I had a huge crush on Sandahl Bergman from Conan the Barbarian.

    • Shawn Robare

      I can see why, barbarian/warrior ladies will totally pillage one’s heart! As for Meyrink, yeah, she’s the under-the-radar nerd queen of the 80s…

  • Fiji Mermaid

    Fantastic list! Just one of the Guys is a classic film! I’m glad to see you included Joyce Heyser on here! Diane Franklin is a great one too! “He tries to put his testicles all over me!”

    • Shawn Robare

      Thanks! Yeah, Just One of the Guys makes a lot of my top 80s lists (as you can see Clayton Rohner made my dude-crush list as well.) I love Frankin’s Monique in Better Off Dead. She could totally fix my car any day… ;)

  • OldSchool80s

    As I said on Pax’s list, I would have Elisabeth Shue at the top of my list without a doubt. It is too difficult for me to narrow down to 5 more after that.
    But I definitely like some of your selections as well, especially Michelle Meyrink, Susan Ursitti & Joyce Hyser.

    • Shawn Robare

      First off, thanks! Now then, my challenge to you would be to rank Shue’s characters from Karate Kid, Adventures in Babysitting, and Back to the Future. I’ll totally accept her role as the cold fusion scientist in The Saint as well…

      • Wesley Hampton

        I vote for her role in Hamlet 2, because I’m a sucker for a good meta/in-joke.

        • Shawn Robare

          I need to see this, keep hearing it’s funny…

      • OldSchool80s

        You forgot Cocktail!

        I think I have to put Karate Kid at the top because that is was when I was first introduced to her. I think I would put Cocktail next followed by Adventures in Babysitting and Back to the Future Part 2 which accounts for her main 80s roles.
        In the 90s, she had some sexy roles in The Saint, Palmetto, Hollow Man & even naked in Leaving Las Vegas, but you know me, the 80s is where I live.

        • Shawn Robare

          You are totally correct sir, I did forget Cocktail. But in my defense I’ve never seen it (yet.) I pretty much agree, though Babysitting would be the tops on my list…

  • Wesley Hampton

    Lea Thompson? But she’s so h…. so ho….. so thin! (sorry, that was terrible but I couldn’t resist.)

    Before the Super Bowl we were watching Adventures in Babysitting talking about Elisabeth Shue with a friend. I don’t really remember having crushes back when I was younger (though I’m sure I did) but Elisabeth Shue probably would have been on my list. Actually, I can get behind pretty much everyone on your list too. Lea Thompson would be near the top because I’m more familiar with her having watched Back to the Future a million times. I always feel weird crushing on her in the 50′s until I remind myself that I’m not Marty and it’s OK to feel like that.

    And I’m shocked you didn’t mention Diane Franklin’s integral role as Princess Joanna in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. She was 1/4 of Wyld Stallyns, man!

    • Shawn Robare

      Touche! Yeah, for some reason I always forget that was Franklin in Bill & Ted. Now I need to watch that again. Yeah, I guess I’ve always felt a little betrayed by Shue ’cause of how her character treated Daniel at the beginning of KKII (irrational? Sure.) As for Thompson being Marty’s mom, thank god, the last think I need is Oedipal issues…

    • ShezCrafti

      I think I’ve mentioned this too at some point, Shawn, but you might also be interested in a made-for-TV 80s horror flick called Deadly Lessons which stars Diane Franklin, and has a great cast of “not famous yet” faces, like Ali Sheedy and Bill Paxton. The movie is terrible, obviously, but worth watching for Diane and future famous celebs. Let me know if you want a copy.

      • Shawn Robare

        I might have to hit you up for a copy of that. I just watched the cheesy made-for-TV Brotherhood of Justice with Kiefer Sutherland, Keanu Reeves, and Lori Laughlin and it was a blast!

  • ShezCrafti

    Shawn, none of these are surprises because I already read (and loved!) your original Crush list over at Branded, so I’m just here to compliment you on those fantastically cheesy patterned backgrounds you used in these graphics. Makes it seem like you tore these photos out of a page of Bop or TigerBeat.

    • Shawn Robare

      I do what I can! It’s the 9 year-old little girl designer in me… ;)

    • Shawn Robare

      Also, I totally need to see your list now. Just saying…

      • ShezCrafti

        Yeah, yeah…I’ll post one soon!

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